What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize