I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
