Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I supernannyed him into submission
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
