theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
