the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My breasts were aching with rage.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
