I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
