Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Michael Bay diarrhea
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
