You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
