I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
