i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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