Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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