everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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