mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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