i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
