We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
