We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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