so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
