my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
