I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
