how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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