theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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