do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
