New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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