I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
