I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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