I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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