Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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