you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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