In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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