She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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