I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
