So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
