Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
