He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
