He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Terrible idea I love it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
