Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
