I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
