just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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