Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
