i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
