VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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