Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
