Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
