I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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