nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
from now on my penis is your penis
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
