It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
