VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
