as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I supernannyed him into submission
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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