You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
