Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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