Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
