you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
