what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
