We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
