I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
