You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
