Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
